City of Dreams: Vienna 1900-35/ Philharmonia Orchestra

Tonight I went to see the Philharmonic play at South Bank. Love, love, loved it.

This is the second classical concert I've seen in a month (and indeed my adult life), and there is nothing sedate about those bad boys. When the players are in full swing - and I'm on the edge of my seat - I imagine they could start thrashing their instruments about the stage like Pete Townshend or something. The string section look like they're wildly masturbating their bows on the strings, and conversely, like vibrato butterfly fingers too.

And I love how the instruments have their own personalities; the violins (who I think are the schizophrenics of the ensemble; dramatic staccato vs. soaring waves of string), the patriarchal double basses, the naughty oboes (in my opinion the orchestra's raised eyebrow), the dignified horn, and my favourite; the elegant cello (who always sounds a little morose).

I'm learning a tiny bit about classical music on each visit. This time I learnt I don't like Berg's Violin Concerto but I do like Mahler's Symphony No. 6.

I also learnt that Orchestral Viewing Etiquette differs slightly from Cinema Etiquette, or even Theatre Etiquette. This was imparted to one friend who received some of the coldest evils I have ever witnessed from a fellow audience member upon opening her Haribo.

My friend and I speculated about the relationship between the principal viola and the Conductor (definitely some shagging there), and felt a bit sorry for the man on the gong who only got to gong twice during the entire 79 minute performance.

Plus any show marketed with a Klimt painting gets my vote.